Heavy Metal

I’ve had complaints already. Well, one. From my wife. I emailed her to tell her I had a blog and awaited a few vaguely positive comments plus some (constructive?) criticism, as usual. Some minutes later the answer came back “Sorry I’ve never really understood blogs. You’re a massive Metal Head with two kids?”.

The answer, I found, lay in a full stop. I am wwwstayathomedad. The Metal Head is www.stayathomedad. I can see that might cause problems in future. But after that unpromising start I got to thinking about Metal Head. “Well it's Monday and the first day of my first ever Blog.” He starts off breezily. But he posts only once, in June 2003. What happened to his beautiful children? His wife? His smiley son? Was there some horrible accident? It doesn’t bear thinking about.

In a desperate effort to avoid the same fate, I rush to make another entry. I thought a few strengths and weaknesses might be useful to illustrate my life in childcare. What am I good at? Making up bedtime stories that make my daughter cackle and scamper around the bedroom like an excited dog. (They involve an excited dog.) Coming up with afternoon expeditions we can both stomach (the Model Village or Bunny World this Friday?) I’m also quite good at combining unlikely kitchen ingredients to produce a meal apparently quite edible for a three year old. (Tuna and sweetcorn spaghetti anyone?)

My faults could of course fill three blogs. Poor shopping habits, leading to the need to combine unlikely kitchen ingredients (see above). Lack of sympathy for grazes, scratches, bumps etc (“Well you’re alright aren’t you?”) A seemingly limitless capacity for CBeebies, to the extent that sometimes I find myself watching it when I am meant to be watching Sky Sports. Difficulty mixing with mums. Frequent lapses in commitment to the concept of childcare. I could go on. And I will, tomorrow.