Thursday, 29 March 2012

Changing for Good

I have a new partner. At first my daughter wasn’t sure what to think about my newfound happiness. ‘She won’t want to go out with you,’ she told me suspiciously. ‘She’s younger than you.’ When it turned out she did want to go out with me, my daughter approached each new stage in our relationship with the same degree of scepticism. She was very uncertain that she’d want to stay over, then highly doubtful that she’d ever want to move in.

Nevertheless she was welcoming and generous-spirited as ever, and probably secretly quite relieved that it wasn’t going to be just her and me anymore. Although not everything’s changed - we often still sit around together in our pyjamas in front of the television, when we should probably be doing something more useful.

My new partner and I are getting married soon. When I told my daughter the news she was quiet for a while, but in the end she came and put her arms around me. And we’re going to have a baby too. I asked my daughter what she thought about having a brother or a sister and she said she wasn’t keen. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Because you might spend more time with them than me,’ she said, ‘and love them more.’ I told her that of course I wouldn’t love them any more than I love her. That there was plenty of love to go around in my world. And once again she flung her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.

And as I hugged her back, feeling the comfort of having her in my arms as always, I realised that what I hadn’t told her was that I wouldn’t be having another baby if I hadn’t loved every single moment of having her as my daughter.


Transcription Company said...

Its so nice of having such lovely child who is so understandable at this age. Its an interesting post.

Maggie May said...

Oh.....congratulations! I am so pleased that everything is working out so well with you all. I'm sure daughter will be over the moon with your wife to be and the baby!

Nuts in May

Gord said...

That's a cute story, man. How old is your daughter?

Gord said...

That's a cute story. Your daughter shows a good bit of wisdom, patience love and grace. How old is she?

Yeti9000 said...

Wow, man, congrats on all your happy news! I have been a SAHD to my 3yo daughter, Greta, for three years now and even though my wife and I decided long ago that we were gonna be a "one and done" family, the last paragraph of your post almost makes me wanna try for another! Beautifully put!!

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Unknown said...

I'm one of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'd like to do likewise, as a Japanese American SAHD raising two toddlers in Germany. My site is

Best of luck, and I look forward to more posts.

James said...

Will you please post a link to your Blog at The Fatherhood Community? Our members will appreciate it and as the father of 3 teenage boys, I will too.
Members include: Fathers, Dads, Daddies, Fatherhood Lovers, Experts and Fans.
It's easy to do, just cut and paste the link and it automatically links back to your website. You can also share Photos, Videos and Articles if you like.
Email me if you need any help or would like me to do it for you.
Please feel free to share as often and as much as you like.
The Fatherhood Community:
I hope you consider sharing with us.
Thank you,
James Kaufman, Editor

Jen said...

I have to tell you... I was looking through my old comments and saw one from you (from years back), and decided to see if you were still writing. I am glad you have found someone that makes you happy and congratulations about the baby! You have always written in such a way that the love for your daughter is palpable and always makes me teary. I hope you continue to write!

sapna said...
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